In Praise Of First Cousins

 

In Praise Of First Cousins

I've been blessed with a wonderful family! My cousins are amazing! This is from November 20, 2005.

I watched them as I sat in Houston's Hobby Airport on Sunday, preparing to fly to St. Louis for Thanksgiving. The woman was in her mid-thirties, very pretty and stylishly attired. With her were her five perfectly groomed children. One was in a baby carriage. Three daughters were dressed almost identically and could have stepped out of a Benetton's catalog. The oldest was a boy, whom I would estimate to be nine years old, also clothed fashionably. They were the picture-perfect family, minus the father. I would guess there is a man in the picture; everything in the scenario said there had to be. What struck me was not the attractiveness of the mother and her kids or the manner in which the youngsters conducted themselves. What I found interesting was the number of kids in this family. The students in my classes come from small families. A number are only children. I don't think I have one student who comes from a family with five children. When I ask my classes how many children they would like to have themselves, overwhelmingly, the most popular answer is two. Smaller is the trend in families in our society. There are obvious cultural reasons. Women are going to college and into the work force, thus marrying later and postponing pregnancies. Children are also more expensive than ever so each baby decreases the amount that can be spent on remaining siblings. I understand all that but I think the downsized family carries with it a measure of sadness. The concept of one big happy family is less and less applicable in twenty-first century America.

When Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped in Utah, authorities immediately faced a dilemma. Suspects in abductions start with family. The problem in this case was the size of the family. She had eighty-one first cousins....that they knew about. There could have been more but law enforcement could not be sure. I can't conceive of that- 81 first cousins! This afternoon, as Dad and I returned home from the St. Louis Science Center, I asked about the immediate families of my grandparents. It turns out my Chesshir grandparents and my Hawley grandparents all came from large families. Grandpa Chesshir was one of seven kids and Grandma Chesshir was from a family of six children. On Dad's side, Grandpa Hawley came from a clan of seven offspring and my Grandma Hawley was one of, get this, eleven Petersen children! So, the aunts and uncles of my Mom and Dad totaled thirty-one. Dad told me he has no idea of how many first cousins he was blessed with and how many of those are still alive. Doing simple math leads me to conclude that just by maintaining the average number of kids from their families of origin, my dad's aunts and uncles could easily have bestowed on him many more first cousins than even Elizabeth Smart has. I think it is neat that Dad has first cousins he has never met. That means I have alot of cousins I have never been introduced to either! This may seem rambling but the point I am trying to make is that children are a gift from God. In recent years, segments of our society have implied it is socially irresponsible to have more than X number of children. I think that flatly contradicts the scriptures, assuming the parents are willing and able to care for their next generation the way the Bible teaches. Let me make a practical application. My Grandpa Chesshir was the youngest of seven. Imagine if my great grandparents had decided that having one more was not the culturally advisable course of action. Walker Jordan Chesshir would never have seen the light of day which means that among others, Nelda Chesshir Hawley could not have been conceived, which leads us to the overwhelming probability that I would not have been born. And so, during this week where we focus on gratitude for our blessings, I thank God for moms and dads who brought a good number of little ones into the world and raised them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That is the true definition of planned parenthood.

Applicable quote of the day:
"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see."
John W. Whitehead

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

The Burden Of Friendship

 

The Burden Of Friendship

Noah and company.

Noah, one of my all-time mission trip favorite kids! This is from May 26, 2014.

The Veteran's Administration has been in the news lately over issues dealing with the care of our nation's soldiers. I've seen one of Abraham Lincoln's best known quotes mentioned several times in various stories. Taken from his second inaugural address, Lincoln spoke of America's obligation to take care of her heroes:
  With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

I really love those cherished sentiments from the 16th president who had such a way with words. I used to have that line on history tests as a memory question and I especially love the portion highlighted in red and underlined above. It hearkens back to James 1:27 where James states the acceptable practice of faith in the eyes of God must include caring for widows and orphans.  With this being Memorial Day, many people have posted Facebook status updates with pictures of relatives who served in the military- I did as well, using a photo of my nephew, Seth, while he was on a tour of duty in Afghanistan. In society, some will always carry a higher kind of burden. Today we gratefully remember and honor those who risked life and limb in the protection of freedom. 

Bearing the burdens of others is such a powerful theme in the Scriptures. Check out just  few verses urging believers to do so:

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ 

I think the best example of bearing one another's burdens I have ever witnessed came in the summer of 2010. As some of you know, I spent almost four weeks in China at a Christian orphanage in rural Hunan Province. One of the kids there was a fifteen year old boy named Noah who was extremely bright. He also knew the Bible very well as did a number of the children; they studied the Word daily. Noah was kind and charming. Several years before, he had developed an infection in his foot and when treatment failed, the doctors amputated it. As I recall, it was not far above the ankle but he got around remarkably well, hopping on his remaining foot. Noah did not make a big deal out of his physical limitation and neither did the others. One day, we went to a river to swim and it required walking several miles out through the countryside covered with rice paddies. Without fanfare, the boys took turns carrying Noah up and down the hilly terrain. When we arrived, they put him back on the ground and went swimming. Jesus told us we should let our lights shine so others will see our good works and glorify our Father in Heaven. I praised God that day in July, 2010. Someone is always watching; that day it was me. Someone always needs carrying.

Applicable quote of the day:
No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.

Charles Dickens

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Timing And Rotation

 

Timing And Rotation

 

This is about one  of my favorite drills and two of my favorite kids! It is from April 29.
The longer I coach, the more I like rethinking methods of teaching basketball to my players. I came to WCS in 1998 and we still run the same offenses against man and zone, the same three inbounds plays, and the same press break. What has changed is the way I teach it. My estimation is that we only do about 5 % of the same drills we did when I arrived twenty years ago. My adjustment from coaching high school to middle school came in basically starting at the beginning, the way you do with little kids in summer camps. Most coaches do things the way their high school or college coaches did them or perhaps they adapt what they see at clinics/camps. You also borrow from colleagues you coach with or against. It's really a fraternity if that's permissible to say with female counterparts! The Internet has changed how information is circulated in the coaching ranks. I have coaching videos and e-mails sent to me on a daily basis. I discard what is not applicable to our team/style/level of play/philosophy and tweak what I can apply to make us better. I find great enjoyment in constantly updating the processes we employ. And there is this: the boredom factor. Repetition is good but it doesn't take long to lose its effectiveness, to where the kids can do a drill without any focus. Changing up practice keeps all of us on our toes. 

One thing I learned when I first started coaching is that standing around is the enemy of a good practice. Another truth I've gleaned is that when you change practices up, the kids have to think and figure it out. I try to have them make as many decisions daily as possible and to try to get them to think like coaches. We add at least one new drill per week and usually more. In the Spring, we don't work on defense except when we play. My belief is that it's easier and less time consuming to teach defense but offensive skills can require years of work. We do some breakdown work for post and perimeter players but mainly, we try to teach them how to play basketball. 

That brings us to the diagram at the top of the page which incidentally, took several hours to draw on my photo-shop device- hard making straight lines on the laptop! It's a passing/cutting/catching/shooting drill we added last week, one that I picked up from a college coach and modified to our needs. That's not always easy because you have to gauge distances of college males versus thirteen year old young ladies. In this drill, we emphasize hard cuts, appropriate passes, meeting the ball, and making shots. The girls picked it up quickly; we always teach it going to the right. A good drill can be run both directions but as we are all right handed, changing directions causes some hiccups. I like it and the kids like it so it will stay in our library of drills for future reference!

I talked to my 8th period 8th grade Bible class about this drill because Hayden and Aspen, two of my players, are in that section. This drill is like life in two ways.  The first is timing. Four kids have to move together and if one messes up, the sequence breaks down. It's easier for the more experienced girls because they have a better ability to see how it plays out. One late cut and all four players on the court are affected. Timing is so important in life. You like someone and they like you back but not concurrently. You want a job and they are interested in you but in separate windows of opportunity. Fortunately, God's timing is not ours! What's disappointing to us in the moment is beneficial in the long run- it may take years to come to that realization. But along with the importance of timing goes rotation, which is sometimes even harder for players this age to grasp. Where do I go next after I make this pass? In this particular drill, three kids stay and one, the shooter, moves on while another player comes in. Isn't that life? What do I do next? Where do I go next? Who is left behind? Sometimes, we get stuck in a bad situation and we struggle to leave it. I've moved a number of times since high school, never without prayer, and it's never worked out the way I thought it would or even should. But the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, has worked through my mistakes and led me each step along the highway of life. You can't draw it on a coaching clip board- too many stops/starts/turns. (My tribute to Don Meyer!) But as these drills are preparing these girls how to step on the court on a higher level, our daily lives are, hopefully, preparing us to make a difference in the much more important arena of life. One of my favorite hymns on this topic is Johnson Oatman's marvelous Higher Ground. It begins with the beloved line, "I'm pressing on the upward way....." Pressing- that's a basketball term. See what I mean? Court is in session.


Applicable quote of the day # 1:
“Coaches win practices, players win games”
Pete Carril


Applicable quote of the day # 2:
“Professional coaches measure success in rings. College coaches measure success in championships. High School coaches measure success to titles. Youth coaches measure success in smiles” 
Paul McAllister

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Part Of The Plan

 

Part Of The Plan

Sometimes, it's good for all of us to get a different perspective! This is from April 10, 2014.

I saw Lizeth as she was walking into her 8th period class last Wednesday in the room next to mine. Out of the blue, I asked her if she would like to plan our basketball practice the next morning. In a voice you have to know to fully appreciate, Lizeth answered, "YEEESSSSS!!!" And she did. The next morning, I asked Sydney if she would be interested in planning Friday's practice- she was! So the last two practices of last week were planned by two seventh graders who are extremely close to each other and extremely fun to coach. They picked the drills we would run those two sessions which included competitions of the shooting variety and playing. Our scrimmaging usually involves restrictions- two dribble limit, etc.- and scoring guidelines, i.e., a point for an offensive rebound, in addition to baskets made- they selected those rules for the day. I also let them choose the color each 'team' would wear, a bigger deal than you might expect, especially when we go to three or four teams and we have to wear red or gold tops which do not get washed every night! (Here I should explain that our team consists of twelve players, the perfect number for a basketball squad, because it can be divided into two/three/four player groups.) I also let the two determine the method to begin a playing setting, either loose ball or camp jump ball. Lizeth and Sydney did an excellent job, the practices were good ones, and next week all the girls on the Lady Wildcats will be granted a day to organize our workouts.

I mentioned that I was impressed with how Lizeth and Sydney ran the show Thursday and Friday but that does not mean each of them were without an anxious moment, even if no one but me was aware of it. The problem came, and it was internal struggle, when they had to choose our teams. You see, I have a distinct advantage when I pick sides- I don't care. I don't care who wins or loses and I don't care if someone gets their feelings hurt. But Sydney and Lizeth do care- and have to care- because they were part of the teams. As competitors, they wanted to win but they also wanted to be fair and that is a slender tightrope to walk. I really believe they questioned themselves and their own motives because they could not take themselves out of the equation. I talked to them about my brother, Dave, coaching his three children- Zach, Meagan, Ben- in high school tennis and additionally. Meagan in basketball. Tennis is much easier because there are intrasquad matches to determine rankings but basketball is so much more subjective. I would guess it would be extremely difficult to coach your offspring in a sport such as basketball but I know Dave handled the situation with Meagan in a professional and objective way and I know she loved playing for him.

Lizeth and Sydney at an early age ran into an issue that adults know very well. How can we remain objective when we make decisions that affect multiple individuals, including ourselves and our friends and possibly our relatives? Based on our knowledge of the Gospels, although limited and not a day by day account of their interactions, Jesus was apparently closer to some of His apostles than He was to others. Did this play into His assigning who went with who on their mission trips? Did He make them rotate leading devotionals or were some perceived to have greater power to do miracles than their peers? The Savior obviously was accompanied by an inner circle of Peter/James/John on several key moments of His ministry, like the Transfiguration, while the other nine stayed home. But it also seems Jesus did a remarkable job of both praising and chastising the group equally, regardless of their perceived proximity to the Master. Like our team, Jesus was blessed to possess the perfect and highly symbolic number to the Jewish nation, twelve, to work with. Lizeth and Sydney are in good company but now content to return to their much more comfortable roles as players. We'll see how their teammates fare in the upcoming days.

Applicable quote of the day:
Think of new ways to do old things. You must protect against boredom in a practice situation. 
George Raveling

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Camper Of The Day

 

Camper Of The Day

Without a doubt, one of the greatest acmp stories in history! This is from June 12, 2014!

I've coached in many, many basketball camps at various times and in different states but today was a first for me. At our WCS basketball camps, which I have now worked for sixteen years and I would guess 80+ sessions, we always give a Camper Of The Day for each team, announced in a little closing ceremony every morning and afternoon. The award is based on the word of the day, printed on the campers'/staff t-shirt. (Monday is attitude, Tuesday is effort, Wednesday is fundamentals, Thursday is discipline, Friday is tenacity.) The plan was put into place twenty-one years ago by then camp director/boys' basketball coach, Greg Glenn, and carried on by his successors, Russell Carr and Trey Austin. Traditionally, the director leads a short discussion of the word of the day as each session begins and the campers/staff all clap each time the word is used in demonstrations. It's a neat tradition.

This week, we have about fifteen kids in the morning session, which is entitled Hard To Guard Camp. Of the fifteen, only two are girls and both of them are my team, which we named after my college squads, the York College Panthers! The Panthers also include my voluntary assistant coach, Lizeth, who plays for me on our school team and who will be an 8th grader this August. Yesterday, as we did a shooting drill, I made a point to my campers, Faith and Dru, that when we are rebounding, the ball is sort of like a baby- you never let a baby fall and hit the floor. You have to pursue the basketball and catch it in the air! Being a little bit silly, I asked the duo if they were of the mindset that we should give the ball/baby a name. They were! Babies have to have a name and Dru immediately christened our new teammate Charlotte. It became a big thing. They started saving a place for Charlotte when we would sit waiting for instructions and once when Trey told all the campers to put the balls in the racks, one the girls told me they were putting Charlotte in her crib. It may seem very silly but they got into it which is what is all about, especially with very young kids and these are very young kids.

Today as I came into the gym, I asked Valerie, a senior to be who handles all the non-coaching details of our camps, if there was an extra t-shirt I could borrow. She graciously granted permission and I went into the locker room and got an adult large. I stuck one of our blue and gold basketballs inside the shirt, Lizeth made a name-tag, and the physical Charlotte came into being. Faith was absent today due to a family commitment so Charlotte became Dru's best buddy and accompanied her wherever Dru would go. Dru decided Charlotte might like a boyfriend so Chuck came onto the scene. and she would place another ball beside Charlotte. She also thought Charlotte and Chuck might someday get married and have kids- she named them Christina/Chris/Chiquita. Then came the matter of Charlotte's last name; logically, we settled on Ball. It just fit for some reason. The Panthers, even short handed, had a terrific day! When we did shooting contests, we merged with the Ligers (think Napoleon Dynamite!) Late in the morning, Valerie came up to me and asked who should be Camper Of The Day. She suggested Charlotte....and Dru was so excited for her new teammate/friend! And so, Charlotte Ball became the first camper of the day to be round, painted blue and gold, and to be formed out of a rubbery substance. You can see Charlotte posed in all her splendor with her award, in a candid shot taken by Valerie. I was almost emotional.

Now, you may think this whole story is silly and a waste of time but it isn't. First, it makes absolute basketball sense. Players today are extremely careless with the ball and treat it nonchalantly while the ball is the most important thing in the game. If you never relinquish possession, you cannot lose because your opponent can't score. But there is also a spiritual implication. All of us have been careless at one time or another with the things that really matter; our health/family/morals/purity/study/prayer life/benevolence. We treat these treasures nonchalantly the way campers treat a basketball in a hot gym on a June morning in Houston, Texas. Proverbs 19:16 teaches us that:
He who keeps the commandment keeps his soul, But he who is careless of his ways will die.
I don't want to ever be accused of being careless with my soul! I should watch my soul like Dru watched over Charlotte, and that's closely. At the end of camp, I asked Dru if she wanted to take Charlotte home with her. She was hesitant about springing that on her mom- that's quite a bit of responsibility for a little girl!- so Charlotte is spending the night in the locker room. I bet she misses Dru; she could not ask for a better friend.

Applicable quote of the day:
 "Creativity represents a miraculous coming together of the uninhibited energy of the child with its apparent opposite and enemy, the sense of order imposed on the disciplined adult intelligence."
 Norman Podhoretz

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Linden, Plus Five

 

Linden, Plus Five

 The following is about one of the young ladies who played for one of the various versions of the Lady Wildcats. It is from October 25, 2007.

She walked up to me Friday night after our Homecoming football game. We were hosting a Fifth Quarter party in our school cafeteria, a get-together for WCS alumni, students, teachers, and parents to share food and unwind after the big game. She was with Russell, one of our seniors, and she asked if I knew her. Even though there was a familiarity, I was stumped. Seeing my confusion, she told me she was Linden. Then I saw it. Linden had been one of my middle school basketball players in seventh grade. She was only at WCS for one year before transferring. She's a senior at a big public school and I have not seen her in the intervening five years. Now as tall as me, Linden is gracious and confident and I really enjoyed catching up with her. I reminded her that she always responded with, "Okey dokey" when I gave her coaching points. She reminded me that I used to harp on her not being precise in her approach to the game. Haley and Taraka, two of my current players, came by as we were speaking. Linden's advice to the pair was to keep playing basketball, which she gave up after her ninth grade year. I hope Taraka and Haley were listening....and I hope I see Linden again.

I pray on a daily basis for every girl that has played for me at WCS. This is what I find strange about my reconnecting with Linden last weekend: I've prayed for her every day since the start of her seventh grade year and I still failed to recognize her. For the past nineteen hundred or so consecutive days, I have mentioned Linden to the Lord, right between Kristin and Athena, and I still didn't know who she was. When I close my eyes, I can see twelve year old Linden but there was no age progression in my mind. When face-to-face with the grown-up version, I struck out. Maybe I do that more than with just prayer lists and former players. It's easy to classify someones spiritual development and confine them to one category, not giving them the chance to mature and strengthen their walk with the Lord. I was shocked to see Linden, but I shouldn't have been. She simply grew into a lovely young lady while I wasn't looking. It isn't so hard to imagine that many former students do the same academically, socially, and spiritually when out of my eyesight. I may still see them at the point they departed, which sometimes was their low-water mark. I remember their ebb tide and fail to foresee the high tide that is still possible in the life of a young person. Gravity from the moon pulls the waves to the shore. Influence from heaven pulls the young man or woman back to the proper course. Fortunately, my forecasting skills can't get in the way of the Lord's plans, either with nature or with teenagers. He seems to do fine without me. Just ask Linden.

Applicable quote of the day:
"Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends on the tides of the mind."
Alice Meynell 

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

24

 

24

When I penned the following entry, on May 30, 2007, both of my parents were still alive. With their passings, I have found out, like many of you, what it is like to lose a loved one. I know much better what it means than when this was written.

I was there the first time and so was Ben. In 1996, I was the assistant coach and Ben Johnson a freshman substitute during Friendship Christian School's initial trip to the Tennessee high school baseball state tournament. We thought we had a great shot at winning the Single A crown but we went out in two games. Last Friday, Friendship was once again in the state tourney but Ben and I were finishing up the year as teachers/coaches at Westbury Christian School in Houston. Ben was getting updates via cell phone as the Commanders took on Jackson Christian School in the championship game on the campus of Middle Tennessee State University in Murfreesboro. Ironically, the same schools with the same two coaches and many of the same young men battled it out for the state football crown back in December. Last fall, Jackson Christian prevailed by a 19-13 margin. On the diamond, the tables were turned as Friendship took the title, 13-3. My only real connection remaining with the program is Coach John McNeal, my six year coaching partner. But even if I wasn't particularly emotionally involved, I was thrilled on another level. Jon Miller is why.

He was only a third grader when I moved to Texas so I don't know if Jon would remember me. His parents and I worshipped together and I coached with and against his dad, Ricky. Kids grow significantly in almost a decade. Last December, Jon Miller was the quarterback for the Friendship football team and led them to a perfect 14-0 mark heading into the title game, also played on the campus of Middle Tennessee State University. On that day, Jon tied a state record he would like to forget by throwing six interceptions in the six point defeat. Even in high school, quarterbacks tend to be lightning rods for credit and blame so I know Jon took it very hard. Fairy tales aren't supposed to end that way. What a sense of redemption for Jon, who played left field defensively, to lead his team to the pinnacle in May by slamming four home runs in the tournament along with a slew of runs batted in. Can one triumph trump a heartache? Does one cancel out the other? I guess Jon could answer that better than most but at least it put an ice pack on the sting.

Mitch Albom has a new book out although I haven't read it. The author of Tuesdays With Morrie has published For One More Day, already scheduled to be a made-for-television movie later in the year. The gist of the novel is this: 

what would you do if you could spend twenty-four additional hours with a loved one who had died? 

I am sure the point is to not wait until it's too late to make peace and share our love. I got a jolt today when reading the obituaries in my hometown newspaper revealed the passing of the fathers of two childhood friends. The mortality of your friends' parents implies the mortality of your own folks. Jon Miller was granted a rare reprieve, to at least partially rectify a painful segment of his young life. In Acts 20, Paul calls together the elders from Ephesus to tell them good-bye, knowing he will see them no more this side of eternity. We don't have that luxury Paul was afforded or the Mitch Albom fantasy to have a do-over once the heart stops beating. The phone is available. If you still can, call your folks. Someone's waiting for you.


Applicable quote of the day:
"Love each other or die."
Mitch Albom


God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1