The Spectrum

 

The Spectrum

This is a story about our family from December 27, 2006. A little update: Harper went to heaven four months later on April 7, 2007 and my folks joined her in the next two years. Zach and Haley have since adopted two wonderful boys, Bennett and Deacon!

We drove back to St. Louis from Wichita yesterday. Dad, Mom, and I made the return trip after spending four cold days on the Kansas plains. It wasn't supposed to be the way my Christmas vacation would go. My brothers Dave and Scott and their families were coming to Missouri to celebrate the holidays but the realities of life intervened. My great niece Harper has been in intensive care in an Oklahoma hospital for the past three weeks so our plans changed. Last Saturday, we drove to Oklahoma City from Wichita and I saw the latest child to bear the last name of our family. Harper, only six months old, has been having recurring seizures for weeks. The doctors have Harper on a ventilator, placing her in a drug-induced coma in an effort to find the source of her condition. They let us go back into her room two at a time for about one minute per visit. I was with my mother as she beheld her great granddaughter for the first time. I know it did not register with Mom but there was this beautiful little child, sleeping peacefully, wrapped in tubes and monitors. It has been a traumatic, gut-wrenching experience for my nephew, Zach, and his wife, Haley, as they have watched the doctors struggle to diagnose the illness of their first born. They have been overwhelmed with the kindnesses flowing non-stop from family and friends, as well as strangers whose hearts have been touched with the plight of the most innocent among us, a newborn.

The videotape was about ten years old. A friend gave it to Dad recently and he wanted us to watch it as a family. We did, on Christmas Eve. Our mother, pre-Alzheimer's, was being interviewed by a lady in their church. The topic was raising children according to God's plan and the Christian sister probed Mom as to her philosophy and the child rearing course of action followed by Nelda and Roger Hawley. I guess I knew everything my mother talked about before I heard it on tape but that wasn't what hit me. I realized I had at least partially forgotten who my mother was. The words of wisdom which came from her did not surprise me. What made me sad was that I did not recognize her voice, so eloquent in a gracious, rural, Southern kind of way. Her recent method of communicating in random, unconnected words and phrases, spoken almost in a whisper shoved Mom's real voice into a dark alcove of my memories. I told Dad he needs to make copies of the tape for all of us. Harper needs to see what her great grandmother was like and more importantly, hear who she was from her own lips. I need to hear it again, too.

In the second chapter of Luke, we read about two old people in the temple overjoyed to see the baby who would become the Savior of mankind. Simeon and Anna knew the little one in Mary's arms was from the Lord and destined for indescribable greatness, despite his humble earthly roots. Jesus didn't skip the baby stage and go right to fighting Satan and I don't think that was accidental. On Christmas Eve, we opened presents at my brother Scott's house in Wichita. As we sat around a real, old fashioned tree you take from the earth, Mom received the night's most unique gift. My sister Cecelya sent her a baby doll, realistic in size, weight, and feel. Mom has taken to the infant girl, snuggling and holding her gently. Tonight, she was bouncing on her lap the addition to the family and talking to her like any great grandmother would talk to her great granddaughter. Mom can no longer distinguish between a real baby and a doll but she still loves with the maternal love of which God gave her a double helping. Dad told us Mom had wished for a female descendant named Cimmarron: that sounds like a good name for the doll. Until she gets the chance to hold Harper, cradling a plastic baby tenderly in her arms will have to do. The youngest Hawley and the oldest Hawley will love each other; they just haven't been formally introduced.

Applicable quote of the day:
"Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories."
John Wilmot

God bless,
Steve (son of Nelda Hawley, great uncle of Harper Hawley)
Luke 18:1

Consider The Lilies...

 

Consider The Lilies...

I try to make it to Nashville, Arkansas once per year but I don't always succeed. While there, I'll make the trek to Mom's grave, about a mile away from the house where she was born that burned several years ago. Mom and Dad are buried side-by-side on the same spot where they said their wedding vows. This is about something that happened in the aftermath of her funeral. It's from June 15, 2009.

Mom's funeral was on April 4th so about ten weeks have passed since we laid her to rest in the New Corinth Cemetery in Nashville, Arkansas. After the burial, we returned to the funeral home to pick up some family items we had set out for viewing. A number of friends and family members had sent flowers, including potted plants. It was decided we would all take one plant home. I selected a Peace Lily. As we left the funeral home to go to the dinner prepared by the church, I heard Sally's brother, Paul, say that the good thing about a Peace Lily is that they are impossible to kill. We'll see.

Did you know the biological name for a Peace Lily is Spathiphyllum? I googled it when I got back to Houston, determined to keep that piece of Mom's memory alive. What I found was it needs indirect light and a certain amount of water, the amount varying depending on the site you pulled up. Instead, I set the pot on a table and forgot about it. In several days, it started drooping and leaves started falling off. Immediately, I watered it and placed it next to a window with blinds. Each morning, I would open the blinds to meet the light needs of the plant. And it revived! But, I would get busy and forget to open the blinds and quench its thirst for awhile and the cycle began again. I'm currently in a downward spiral. I hope I can rejuvenate the Peace Lily to where it resembles the picture at the top of the page. We'll see.

I'm not used to caring for plants or pets and taking the steps to insure they survive and flourish. This is my first stab at keeping something else alive. It's in my hands. The plant isn't going anywhere and if it perishes, there is only one to blame. Our relationship with God is like my relationship with the lily. He isn't changing or moving. A vibrant relationship is possible and He longs for it.... but I treat my Maker like I treat the plant. Give it some attention from time to time and then revert to busyness and apathy. When it starts to wither, I vow to change and I do better for awhile...and then the cycle begins anew. The verdict is still out as to whether you can kill a Peace Lily by neglect. I do know that Jesus taught that the beauty of the lilies in the field comes from the Father, the same Father who looks after His followers. I am indifferent but the Father never is. Thank God.

Applicable quote of the day:
"When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other”
Chinese Proverb

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Digitally Remastered

 

Digitally Remastered

There are parts of my life I am good at and parts I am not. The following, from November 9, 2005, highlights one of my real weaknesses.

A new term has become vogue the past several years in basketball and football: clock management. I introduced the concept with my junior high girls this morning in practice, keeping it to one simple rule: If we are ahead late in the game, keep the clock running. If we are behind, stop the clock. Failing to use the clock effectively and conserve time outs has cost pro and collegiate teams games and as a result, their coaches their jobs. The Rolling Stones sang, "Time is on my side." I would add this proviso- only if you're winning.

Clock management is an issue in my life. My obligations only increase and my time only decreases. We live by routines: it's the only way we finish anything. Every minute of my work day from the moment I get up is ordered. Each task is consistent in the time it takes to complete. From pre-dawn weight lifting to shaving to flossing teeth to eating breakfast to reading the Bible, I am efficient in use of the clock. My student aides (Viri, Beverly, Bouba) take care of much of the paper work and errands that fill my school schedule. But when I get home in the afternoon or early evening, my clock management goes out the window. I don't watch much television; I don't have cable. At one time I did but prayer intervened. I was teaching/coaching in Tennessee and found I wasn't getting much accomplished. I asked the Lord to help me use my time better. I'm not kidding- lightning struck my cable and caused my TV to suffer internal damage. It had to get fixed and I am cheap so I had the cable company remove their services during the repairs. Immediately, I started reading the Bible more, praying more, and getting things done. When my TOSHIBA set was healed and returned, I never had the cable hooked back up. With cable, I always found something interesting to watch, from Nickelodian to ESPN to CNN. I would find myself watching Headline NEWS back to back to back even though it repeats itself. With only three or four local Nashville stations, there was not as much temptation. Our God answers prayers!

Now in Houston, I have about six English speaking stations and two in Espanol. You know what half the programming is? INFOMERCIALS! Get rich kits, cure your arthritis shows, fitness gurus- they are relentless in their pursuit of dollars. (I admit, I bought a Tony Little Gazelle machine after watching the pony tailed wonder proclaim the best workout in the world- "YOU CAN DO IT!") Those specific infomercials don't get in my way but I have a weakness: the Time-Life Music Collection commercials. I can't get enough of them! From The 70's Music Explosion to Legends of Rock, from The Folk Years to Superstars of Country- I've seen them all. That's not the problem. The problem is I watch them over and over and over. All have the same format. One former star (Davy Jones, John Sebastian, Kenny Rogers, the guy who played Greg on the Brady Bunch) is teamed with a cute lady co-host. All show 10 second film clips of singers/groups lip synching hits, often in black-and-white, from forgotten TV shows. We're told we could never find all of these hits by ourselves. But the best part is this- THEY HAVE ALL BEEN DIGITALLY REMASTERED! I confess I have no idea what that means but it fascinates me. The collection being shown now is The 70's Music Explosion. I used to give an extra-credit listing in my history classes on tests. One category was Coach Hawley's WORST SONGS of ALL-TIME. The amazing thing is, all the songs in my bonus question are on this infomercial, from "Billy, Don't Be a Hero" by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods to "The Night Chicago Died" by Paper Lace. How can we forget the truly awful Vicki Lawrence smash, "The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia" or Terry Jack's depressing "Seasons In The Sun?" They are all there- and 146 more! I have no interest in purchasing the set but I have the 30 minutes memorized. What a waste of time! I could be doing something productive instead of watching guys with bad haircuts sing songs I can't stand. The Bay City Rollers aren't going to improve between now and the next screening. I need to just put down the remote and walk away.

Is there a Time-Life Music in your world? In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warns of things that cause stumbling, saying we need to toss them away. Hebrews 12:1 speaks of "throwing off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles." I would not classify infomercials as sin but if they keep me from doing good, if they are entangling Steve, then to me, they are sin. I'm making a vow- I'll never watch again! (If they come out with a new one, say Time-Life's Great British Invasion Groups, I may watch it once.) Solomon spoke at length about time, saying there was a time for dying, planting, mourning, loving, hating, but he never said there was a time for wasting. My favorite moment in all the Time-Life commercials was a clip in The Folk Years. It was the Byrd's using Solomon's words from Ecclesiastes 3 in their huge hit "Turn! Turn! Turn!" That's what I need to do- turn it off. The last words of that classic? 'I swear it's not too late.' Clock management of our lives: words of wisdom by way of Solomon and Time-Life Music.

Applicable quote of the day:
"We don't have an eternity to realize our dreams, only the time we have here."
Susan Taylor
To hear one of my all time least favorite songs ever, 'Billy, Don't be A Hero,' copy and paste the link below!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqfIKqW2ZPo

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Elephant Man

 

Elephant Man

We are back in school after Harvey and a day of in-service: it went well! I have an idea for a perfect inservice but it's never been implemented. Read below, from February of 2006, and see if you share my sentiments. If you do, please contact the administration at Westbury Christian School and second my suggestion!

School inservice is a necessary evil, required by the state and accreditation agencies. Much of it is unnecessary for experienced teachers. However, IT IS good for classroom rookies who can learn procedures and the culture of each school. In the past, I've suggested that a perfect in service would consist of nothing more than watching three movies. In no particular order, they are:
1. Awakenings
2. Man of La Mancha
3. Elephant Man
There is a common theme in these films: one can make a difference in a life that society has deemed worthless. Today in my sophomore classes we began watching Elephant Man. Hollywood Video had it listed on their computer but finding it was another matter: it was an aisle away from its designated alphabetical spot. It had not been rented since 2002 which surprised me. Considered a classic and one of the 100 best movies of all time, Elephant Man was nominated for Academy Awards in eight categories, including Best Actor and Best Picture. It is the true story of John Merrick, an Englishman from London who lived in the late 1800's. Horribly and grotesquely disfigured, Merrick was treated like an animal, being displayed in circuses and freak shows. Believed to have zero mental capabilities, Merrick was rescued from his life of humiliation by Dr. Frederick Treves, played magnificently by Anthony Hopkins. Touched by the kindness and attention shown by Treves, Merrick was found to possess superior intelligence, creativity, and even elegance. Dubbed 'The Elephant Man' due to the tumors which covered his body, Merrick became the prize in a tug-of-war between good and evil. Before his premature death at twenty-seven years, the man considered sub-human by some became the toast of London's high brow society. It was an amazing transformation.

The kids were curious today. Because of a quiz and introductory material about the film, we never got a look at the uncovered Merrick. Their impressions came from the reactions of those in the movie who saw him for the first time. People seeing Merrick screamed, fainted, and cried. It will be interesting to watch my tenth graders when they see Merrick, played by John Hurt, for themselves. Hurt looks strikingly like the photographs of Merrick- the makeup must have taken hours! My hope is that my students will be touched by the change in Merrick after he comes in contact with Dr. Treves. That's what Jesus did. He touched the untouchables. John the Baptist, in jail, sent messengers to ask the Messiah if he was the one they were awaiting. Jesus never directly answered. Instead, he replied by listing those outcasts who had felt the touch of the Master's hand; the blind, the lame, the deaf, the lepers, the poor. They knew the sting of ostracism and the agony of being ignored. Roll those groups into one cursed soul and you have the elephant man. It only took one who cared, who dared look past unbelievable ugliness to see a life worth saving. The joy Merrick felt when anyone showed the tiniest consideration was overwhelming. What can we do when we reach out to the unlovely, when our charity is filtered through the love of him who made both the beautiful and the monstrous? The John Merricks aren't just physically misshapen. They are socially, emotionally, and spiritually scarred and battered. They are in the vision lines of each of us. We just have to open our eyes. Jesus said when our eyes are good, we are full of light. That light is sufficient to spill over and fill up the poor souls whose lives are in a permanent drought. The most poignant moment of the movie is when Merrick refers to Treves as "my friend." In John 15, Jesus tells his men that "you are MY FRIENDS if you do what I command." There's no better way to be Jesus' friend than to be the friend of those with no other options.

Applicable quote of the day:
"I am not an animal. I am a human being. I am a man."
John Merrick

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

The Secret Ingredient

 

The Secret Ingredient

I'm a creature of habit as most of us are. I eat the same breakfast almost every day but just a little variation makes my day! The following is from September 14, 2006.

In six hours, I'll eat breakfast. I'm consistent with my first meal of the day menu: Oatmeal
Apple
Orange
Coffee
Water
It gets monotonous but it's quick and good for me. To be honest, the oatmeal has become boring but it is, as far as I can tell from my limited reading, an almost perfect food. I add a little bit of sweetener but other than that, bland. It has very little fat, sugar, and carbohydrates and not coincidentally, taste. But I can't get past the fact that it is both healthy and filling as well as inexpensive. Tomorrow, there will be a little something extra in my oatmeal and I can't wait. Some of our kids at Westbury Christian School arrive long before first period begins, due to their parents' work schedule. Two years ago, we began selling breakfast catered by Chick-Fil-A. It isn't an extensive menu, just biscuits and chicken sandwiches along with orange juice. However, one of the condiments offered along with the breakfast options is jelly. The jelly is made by Welches and comes in those little 1/2 ounce packets like ketchup is packaged at burger joints. Only two flavors are available, grape and strawberry. One day, I saw a packet of jelly laying on one of the cafeteria tables after the students had gone to class. I detest wasting any food so I picked it up and took it home. When I fixed my next bowl of oatmeal, I mixed in the jelly packet with the cereal....and it was good! The jelly gave the oatmeal a discernible flavor that made it more enjoyable. So now, I keep an eye out for anything with the Welches' label in the dining area and I have my students do the same. This morning, Veronica Russell brought me a strawberry packet which is why I can't wait for breakfast. In class, one of my sophomores said, "Coach, I'll just buy you a jar of jelly." I had to explain that that would take the fun out of it. The reason I find enjoyment is that it's unexpected like a gift or a bonus. If I had jelly in my oatmeal every morning, it would cease to be novel and I would get used to it. I want to be pleasantly surprised. I believe the Lord gave us the innate ability to find joy in our life, whether from grand events or little circumstances. I wouldn't expect anyone else to understand but I would guess many people have a similar quirk that fuels the lamp of happiness in their heart, if only temporarily. As for me, tomorrow is going to be a great day....and I can thank Welches for my joy.


Applicable quote of the day:
"I like oatmeal with, like, fruit in it, berries or bananas. You have to get creative with it!"
Heidi Klum/supermodel


God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

The Uphill Climb

 

The Uphill Climb

I'm still using the treadmill! This is from August 26, 2018!
If you know me at all or if you've read these devotional thoughts over the last thirteen years with consistency, you know that I exercise on a very regular basis. Although I lifted weights somewhat when I lived in Tennessee, I didn't get serious until I moved to Houston in 1998. When coaching in Georgia, I started running, something you could not have paid me to do as a kid as I associated it with punishment/conditioning in basketball. But once I started, I found I really liked it, especially the feeling of euphoria when finished. When I had hernia surgery in the mid 1990's, I couldn't run for awhile so I started walking and found that very peaceful and enjoyable, although not as aerobically demanding as running. Ten years ago, I started a combination of running and swimming in our apartment pool and carried it over when I joined my fitness center in 2011. This past April, I woke up with what I self diagnosed as turf toe, a common football injury caused my constantly jamming your big foot digit into the hard playing surface. I stayed out of the pool for a week but the same thing happened again. So, from mid April through August 8, I did nothing aerobically. It also curtailed for a time I could do in terms of lifting plus, I had to take off five weeks for my Vietnam trip. I returned to my club three days after returning from Asia- and sleeping! Deciding I needed to get back to an aerobic program, I started getting on one of the many treadmills. I'd never used one but found these modern versions, equipped with a television I don't use, are terrific! Now I lift every other day, before and after school, and do the same thing with the treadmill between weight days. Even though it's been less than three weeks, I can tell a difference. I'm not sure anyone else can but in this arena at least, I'm the one who counts.

One thing I found out myself when I began running was that I had the capacity to be disappointed in myself. I felt on days that I ran less than forty five minutes that I had wasted my time which obviously was not true. There are some similarities with my new regimen. In short order, I've found myself competing with myself while walking on the treadmill. It tracks time, heart rate, and calories burned and allows setting of both pace and incline. It took me several days to hit 15, the highest incline setting, but now I'm doing it for about five minutes of my 23+ minute time frame in both the AM and PM. I'm worn out and shaky in the legs for a minute when I dismount but it passes quickly. How fast a pace can I maintain at fifteen? I'm not sure yet but I'm enjoying the daily improvement. I know I only burned about seven calories a minute my first day; today I was over ten both times. Higher Ground!

We all know ourselves better than anyone else knows us except the Lord. My knowledge of Steve reminds me that I'm capable of laziness. I have to have a goal, a challenge, an obstacle that I think I may be able to overcome. It applies to my spiritual life as well. Doing good things- like writing a blog- can subtract time from better things, like prayer. Routines become ruts and before long, I'm not challenging myself in what I read or listen to. (Currently, I'm reading a science fiction book in the belief it can make me a better Bible teacher!) Jesus said, 'My yoke is easy.....' I need to be yoked, to be harnessed, to be forced to go up steep hills, even if they are mechanical ones. It may not be for the benefit of anyone else in the world but for my emotional well-being. Tonight as I left Bible study, a brother stopped me and excitedly told me he was losing weight! I asked what changes he had made and he had made sound ones. Truthfully, I couldn't really tell because that falls into the category of stuff that I don't pay attention to. But it definitely mattered to my brother. He is feeling good about himself and that can radiate to the world. And that's what matters in the long run.... or walk.

Applicable quote of the day:
Every day I spend time on the treadmill. I am walking faster, stronger and harder than I was two months ago.
Grete Waitz (former world record holder in the marathon)

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

The Introduction

 

There are times we meet people who may have profoundly changed our existence long before we were born. This is about such a case. It's from Christmas, 2009.

Dave brought an elderly couple to meet me after worship service this past Sunday morning. I am introduced to many people but the Cheathams were special. I found out that Brother and Sister Willis Cheatham knew our parents from college and that he sat on the same row in chapel as my mom and her cousin, Gena. (It was alphabetical seating and their maiden names were Chesshir.) They know our Uncle Bill, one of the best uncles you could have asked for as a kid. But the most intriguing story I heard was that this husband and wife, before they were husband and wife, had double dated with our parents, before they were joined in matrimony. I don't know about you but I cannot envision my folks as a couple before they said, 'I do.' Maybe something happened that night causing Roger Hawley and Nelda Chesshir to gaze into each others' eyes a little more soulfully. All I know is that I'm here and it could be the Cheathams had something to do with it. So, I'm eternally grateful for the gift of birth as should be Dave, Scott, Zach, Meagan, Ben, Karis, Seth, Nathan, Harper, and Noah, Hawleys all.

I like connections. Yesterday, I was turning into a Starbucks several blocks from Dave and Sally's when Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse Of The Heart drifted out of my radio. It has to be the most overly dramatic tune ever to hit the airwaves but that's not what came to mind. Automatically, I thought of Rachel Nicks and the airport in Tegucigalpa, Honduras. Eleven years ago, we were waiting for our flight back to the US from a mission trip and the conversation turned to an anti-drug presentation we had both seen in chapel services. The vignette centered on a mock funeral with the cast singing Total Eclipse Of The Heart and for some reason, Rachel and I began belting out our own unique version right there in a crowded terminal in the heart of Central America. It was probably embarrassing but we were too tired to care and fatigue can spawn silliness. The point is that I associate Rachel, and an unbelievable mission trip, with Bonnie Tyler and I smile when I hear that song. It's a link, in some small way, like a genealogy. Both Matthew and Luke connect the Israelite generations in a chain that led to Jesus. That was important to the Jewish believers as they could trace the Messiah back to Abraham in the book of Matthew and Adam in the Gospel of Luke. I find that since my folks passed away, I am so grateful for the letters or pictures or furniture left behind as reminders of my mom and dad. Now, the Cheathams, through an outing with another young couple six decades ago, have been added to my emotional treasure chest. I just need to decide if Bonnie Tyler can fit in there, too.

Applicable quote of the day:
“We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams.”
Jeremy Irons

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1