Friday, January 17, 2025

Shel And Sylvia....And Her Mother

 Shel And Sylvia....And Her Mother




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZMUx2CfpXI&list=RDqZMUx2CfpXI&start_radio=1

This is a post about one of my favorite songs of all time, from January 7, 2013.
I'm not sure why but I've always had a weakness for love songs where it did not quite work out happily ever after, songs like Patsy Cline's 
She's Got You, Bread's Diary, Three Dog Night's Pieces Of April, etc. One of my favorites has always been Sylvia's Mother by Dr. Hook and The Medicine Show. (Remember when bands had legitimate names?) It tells a story of a guy trying one last time to  plead with his ex- who is leaving to get married and the girl's mom won't put her on the phone. It turns out the song was written by Shel Silverstein who I thought only wrote childrens' books. Silverstein also penned big hits A Boy Named Sue for Johnny Cash and Cover Of The Rolling Stone which was another smash for Dr. Hook. It also turns out that Sylvia's Mother was autobiographical. There really was a Sylvia and Shel really did love her and she really was getting married and he really did call and talk to her mom. There were a few changes. In the song, Sylvia was going to Galveston to get married instead of Mexico and her last name was Avery instead of Pandolfi which did not fit into the rhyme scheme. The telephone encounter actually took place in the mid 1960's but became immortalized in the first hit record of Dr. Hook in 1972. I've posted two youtube clips, with the first one being the actual music video. The second is interviews made thirty years after Sylvia's Mother with both Sylvia and her mom interspersed with the song. (I do need to warn you there is a profanity in the interview clip.)


It's amazing how things we think are inconsequential turn out to be life altering. None of the three principles in this story could have imagined that from it would come one of the best known songs of the 1970's or that this phone exchange would symbolize heartbreak to many young men. (Is there any guy out there who never went through a painful telephone exchange over a young lady?) I also wonder if it might have mattered to the real life Sylvia if she could have known the young man would become famous or if she could have known her name would become synonymous with rejection. In real life, Sylvia has also become well-known apart from the song whose origin has only become  publicized in the past decade after Shel's death. I think it's interesting how Sylvia and Mrs. Pandolfi had slightly different takes on their relationship than what is presented in the song. I once read a quote that said, and I'm paraphrasing here, that truth and memory are related but not identical. God gives us the ability to remember and interpret and to learn from our mistakes. Who knows if Sylvia regrets not choosing Shel or if Shel was glad in the long run to come out second. That's what makes life enjoyable- we won't find out about tomorrow until tomorrow.... and we know tomorrow has enough trouble of its own.

Applicable quote of the day:
“Moving on is easy. It's staying moved on that's trickier.”
Katerina Stoykova Klemer

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Thursday, January 16, 2025

Caroline? NO!

Caroline? NO!

Loved spending time with my great niece, now four years older, at Christmas! This is from January 29, 2017.

I'm partial to the name Caroline. The newest Hawley is my great niece who goes by that name although I'm not sure how her parents, Ben and Courtney, chose it for their princess. (She is perfect!) Like many others, I also like Neil Diamond's classic hit, Sweet Caroline, which has become a standard at Boston Red Sox games although I don't know why that is the case, either. Sweet Caroline, written in honor of former first daughter Caroline Kennedy, has withstood the test of time since its release in September of 1969. But my favorite song with that name is Caroline, No written by the Beach Boys' Brian Wilson and collaborator Tony Asher. Actually, even though it's on the Pet Sounds album by the Beach Boys, Brian is the only group member who performs on the track. The words were penned by Asher after visiting his ex girlfriend, Carol, who had cut her hair short since their last meeting. The catch line of the song was Carol, I Know. Brian mistakenly heard Caroline, No and fortunately both agreed that was a better translation, changing the line and the title. The rest, my friends, is musical history. 

Would Carol I Know have become popular without the lyric switch? I'm going out on a limb and say no. The original is a line of understanding but Caroline, No is an inward groaning. We talk in my classes about the importance of hearing. The kids have a great insight into which of their classmates AND teammates only pay lip service to listening. (Maybe ear service would be more accurate.) Jesus acknowledged that same issue with His crowd in the thirteenth verse of Matthew 13:
This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand.
I tell my kids these Gospel stories for the most part seem easy to comprehend to us, if not always easy to live by. But sometimes, I think it's good our hearing isn't perfect. What if we heard everything others said about us? The negative comments might destroy our confidence, filling us with doubt and undoubtedly, anger. But if we heard every complimentary statement, our sense of humility might be warped and our ego over inflated. Coaches have to have a thick skin.......along with preachers, parents, teachers, and these days, politicians. So, listen as close as possible but don't be obsessed with eavesdropping. The Lord knows the word on the street as it relates to us. And I'm pretty sure He could care less! (Or is it careless??) Oh, well, it worked out well for Brian Wilson and Tony Asher. Too bad for Carol- like her hair, she got cut out of the song. At least, she knew the truth. 

Applicable quote of the day:
“In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation.” 
Lemony Snicket

To hear Caroline, No click or copy/ paste the link below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w7ZeSIC6K0

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Wednesday, January 15, 2025

Silvia And Shirts

 Silvia And Shirts




My favorite Jos A Bank in Houston has closed, sadly. This is about why I shopped there! It's from January 6, 2013.
I spent some time in my nearby Jos A Bank store yesterday morning. One of my Christmas presents was a Jos A  Bank Traveler's Collection oxford dress shirt, blue with very small white checks. (In case you're interested, my size is 15 1/2- 34!) There was a slight problem- I already had the identical shirt. Jos A Bank has a customer friendly return policy so I knew it would be easy to swap, even though my gift was purchased in a different location. I ended getting one with the identical pattern only the blue background is replaced by tan. I plan on wearing it on our first day back to school which is Tuesday. You have to show off the Christmas clothes!


There was an anxious moment at the store on Saturday, though. When I walked in, I didn't see Silvia. Another sales associate asked if they could be of service but I asked for Silvia. The gentleman told me she was in the back and went back and told her a customer was asking for her. Big relief for me! You see, I don't go in unless Silvia is working. I've even found out her schedule- evenings from five until close and Saturdays- I'm pretty sure when she's available for my fashion consultation. She knows my sizes and the clothes I've bought and what I like. She makes suggestions but she makes me feel like I'm in charge of the decision. We talked about the holidays- she filled me in on her two sons and two grandchildren and I told her about my travels to Kansas and Arkansas. I feel like she's family. Right before Christmas break, we were coming back from a game and I needed to check on a back order so I took in the three sixth graders with me- Mallory, Sydney, Lizeth- and introduced them as my daughters. Silvia loved it.

Let me say that the other folks who work at this Jos A Bank location are terrific- I just feel comfortable putting myself in Silvia's care. What's interesting to me is that she simply was the first person who waited on me during my first visit sixteen months ago. I think there's a lesson for us as believers. People aren't attracted to Jesus because of advertisements or programs or services- they are attracted to Him because of Christians who take an interest in them and their lives. There is invariably a relationship involved. I heard an interesting story on a religious radio station yesterday. The preacher related how he met a guy through their son's Little League and he taught him about Jesus. When the new friend was ready to be baptized, some objected to the preacher baptizing the man as that was the domain of the Baptism Team, something I've never heard of. The minister rightly made the point that he had the relationship with the man and would do the immersion. I'm not here to go off on a tangent about baptism but to remind us that the two men had something in common- sons and baseball- before it got around to Jesus. We can be so much more effective if we remember that being like Silvia can attract the lost to The Lord. You see, Silvia knows not just what I need and also what's good for me but she lets me move at my own pace. Maybe she should write a book on soul winning; I'd buy it!

Applicable quote of the day
“I wear brown shirts to protect against the combination of coffee and clumsiness.” 


God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Tuesday, January 14, 2025

Real. Comfortable. Jeans.

 

Real. Comfortable. Jeans.

 




It's amazing what makes middle school girls happy! This is from January 25, 2013.
I just walked in from our girls' high school basketball game versus Fort Bend Christian. It was a good game but the Eagles, now 35-0, defeated our WCS squad which plays very hard. Something was different about me tonight, though, at least to the seven girls on my middle school team who also were in the crowd. They all came over to see me just because........I was wearing blue jeans. They were giving me high fives and telling their friends because none of them had ever seen me in Levis, which I happened to purchase several weeks ago using a gift card that had been a Christmas present from one of the players. I can't tell you why I stopped wearing jeans years ago but my awesome sister-in-law Sally told me at Christmas I needed to buy a pair and I always listen to Sally. My players were so excited- I'm not sure why- but one of them said something I won't soon forget:
"Coach, we've never seen you wear real clothes before!"

This is what is amazing; I wear the very same thing every morning to practice with the exception of shorts instead of the aforementioned blue jeans. And yet that one alteration left a bunch of 6-8th graders in shock.....and ecstatic! 

We don't always realize how much others notice the changes in us. How about something that is eternally important when we are kinder or more patient or increase our generosity? What if we clothe ourselves in righteousness instead of a new pair of pants? We could really change the world if we simply change more than our jeans. Tonight's title is from a Brett Favre television commercial for Wrangler's. Maybe I'll start a few pickup football games in the mud wearing my new jeans. Maybe I'll get rich and famous like Brett and get commercials of my own! Or maybe, I can just improve the characteristics of me that need alterations. There's never a back order when we put on Christ- and He always fits.

Applicable quote of the day:
"Guys will take one pair of jeans, five T-shirts and three pair of socks and that'll get you by for 10 weeks."

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Monday, January 13, 2025

The Long And Winding Road

 The Long And Winding Road

The great thing about teaching at a Christian School is that you get to see the long term outcomes of The Parable of the Sower! This is from January 26, 2017.
In Saturday night's entry, I spoke of WCS  commemorating the contributions of Robert O. McCloy by naming our gymnasium, where he laid the foundation of our basketball success, in his honor. It was a glorious afternoon, filled with friends and alumni, food and memories, basketball victories and recognizing the role of Bob McCloy in keeping Westbury Christian School alive when it was going down for the count. I tell my classes that buildings are named after those who fall into one of two groups, fabulously wealthy or dead. Bob McCloy does not fit into either subset although he has, as Jesus put it nicely, treasure laid up in heaven.

I greatly enjoyed myself during my four hours at the celebration. I caught up with Bob's son in law, Robert Sain, who I worked with at basketball camps in Nashville when he was a student assistant for Lipscomb University's legendary Don Meyer.  For at least half an hour, I reminisced with Isaac Apenteng, one of my favorite all-time students whose brother, Joseph, and sister, Victoria, fall into that same category. It was also a joy to spend time with Greg Glenn, who I've known since working at those same Lipscomb camps beginning in 1983. Greg was my contact for moving to Houston nineteen years ago. He and his family now reside in Nashville where he is the head of school for Lipscomb Academy. I was often with the Glenns during our sixteen shared years at WCS and I worked in the mission field with Greg, his wife Loa, and children Amber, Richard, and Cody who also were my students. Small schools are family affairs.

Many former students wanted to speak with Greg who served Westbury Christian as boy's basketball coach, athletic director, math teacher, and ultimately, the head of school. But it was the last one who caught my attention. A gentleman approached Greg as we stood in the reception area. He confided where he was now in terms of business and personal life with some current information about his extended family as well. As he went on, he passionately related to Greg how much WCS had meant to him and how our school had influenced his life. Ever the administrator, Greg encouraged his former pupil to reconnect with WCS and even more, to become involved and tell his story to others who could benefit as much as he did. After he had said his good-byes, Greg told me something that I found fascinating. The former student had not graduated from our school. On the contrary, he had exited on less than ideal terms although Greg was not sure of all the details. And yet, even though he is not technically an alumnus, the man feels a kinship to Westbury Christian in spite of the situation surrounding his departure. My guess is that it took time, maybe quite a bit of time, for that recognition to set in.


As always, we will cover the Parable of the Sower this year in all five of my classes. One point I make is that we are mistaken if we believe we know who fits the description of the thorns, the rocks, the path, or the coveted good soil. Maybe it takes years for the good soil to come out of hibernation. Sometimes when we discuss Jesus' teaching, I will pick one youngster and have them tell me what kind of soil they perceive each classmate to be. Of course, they only say good soil because they don't want to come off as a jerk. But maybe that's a good lesson for all of us. I think the odds would be that the teachers of that student I referenced would have put in him in the negative soil descriptions, but it looks like they may have been wrong. When Jesus sent out 72 missionaries to places He would visit, I think they were getting the soil ready for the seed, which stood for the word of God; plow, water, fertilize. That's when the seed has the best chance to thrive and produce a terrific harvest. And maybe that's what our school did a quarter of a century ago. Thank God we aren't all judged simply on our teenage years. I need to remind myself of that every day as I help prepare the next generation of soil.

Applicable quote of the day:
“When God is ready for you to move, He will make your situation uncomfortable.” 
Germany Kent

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Sunday, January 12, 2025

Lines Of Confusion

 Lines Of Confusion


I love putting in new drills! This is from January 2017!
Basketball season is long, even in middle school. It's not as long as the high school season which is never ending, adding in camps and summer leagues and AAU. When I was the varsity girls' coach at WCS, we played 41 games. condensed into little more than four months. But even with only 17 games on the calendar this season, our middle school girls practice every school day so we run the risk of experiencing something I never faced when playing in high school or college: BOREDOM. Coaches have basic skills they need to teach but this can be accomplished in a myriad of drills and situations. Most coaches have drills they really like to excess but of course, this can become extremely repetitive. This time of year, I like to introduce a couple of new drills every week or so. Last Thursday, I decided to add one drill called Celtic Passing. It combines passing/catching/cutting/communication/conditioning/layups. But when you do something brand new, you have to have someone to demonstrate it. Before we began our practice, I called over Kaitlin, Kayla, and Shelby, three of our more experienced players, to go over the drill so they could model it for the other kids. To help them understand, I used the tool basketball coaches lean on, the marker board. Illustrated above is the drill. Black represents the players and spots on the floor they will run to after passing. Pink lines indicate where the players run after they pass. Orange lines simulate the movement of the ball around the court. Looks pretty simple, doesn't it? And it is for a coach. But when I asked the girls their reaction, Kaitlin replied with the following:
"Coach, all those lines are confusing."

 I thought it was 1-2-3/A-B-C/do-re-mi to quote the Jackson Five. But I'm not an eighth grade girl, either.

You know, when we put the young ladies on the court and walked through it initially, followed by full speed repetitions, we picked it up quite easily. We even quickly mastered one of the hardest parts of some drills, when you reverse directions and go to the right instead of the left. But looking at the final product simply made no sense to Shelby, Kayla, and Kaitlin. It was to them simply a spider web of basketball theory with no real relation to the sport itself. That is a metaphor, in my mind, of the Christian walk. It has to be taken one step at a time, by faith, with a general knowledge of where we are headed without the clarity that years and decades will provide. I see my life in that diagram. I can looking back comprehend that this step led me to that spot from where I launched out to the next location and I ended up here and who knows where I'll land in the future. We aren't promised 20/20 vision on this adventure but we have the Guide who knows our destination. When I had my Lasik surgery, I immediately realized what I had been missing as objects came into much better focus. My thought is we have those moments of realization as we travel our days on earth but there is always the next trial, the next heartache, the next triumph. We'll absorb the whole mural of our existence some day but for now, it's just one line at a time, from point A to point B. And like Kaitlin said, that can be confusing.

Applicable quote of  the day:
Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not understood. 

Henry Miller

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1

Saturday, January 11, 2025

A Day In The Life

 

A Day In The Life

 

Next week, we have three games in four days! This is from January 31, 2017!

It was one of those days for me. You know the kind; so much happens it's hard to catch your breath! Yesterday was our last basketball game of the season so when we met this morning, we voted on awards and wrote thank-you notes. Two uniforms came in freshly laundered already which is a possible record! My chapel assignment was switched due to a teacher being out. It was the day to get my driver's license renewed and of course, since it had to be done in person, I messed up the online reserving of a place in line! My seventh period Gospels class hosted both of our third grade sections from 2-2:30 this afternoon, complete with snacks. Our younger students were giving the opportunity to choose the colors for our Honduras/Haiti collection bottles along with the color of the lid and the printing in a mock election. It was so much fun but took me over an hour to set up my classroom. (Ironically, my eighth grade Bible class discussion today was on Martha griping about Mary not helping her, having to do everything herself when Jesus came to dinner!) Then, almost immediately after the close of school, I jumped in my car and drove to the nearby DMV. I mentioned I tried to register my reservation via the Internet and found out when I got there, I signed up for the wrong line. The kind lady moved me to the correct line and informed me there were only 81 people ahead of me! The screen on the wall noted that I, identified by the last four digits of my cell phone, had only a ninety-five minute wait. It got better. Almost simultaneously, it was announced that the computer systems were down and there were no guarantees they would come back. Another kind lady announced some folks might want to try again tomorrow. Not me! I stuck it out after a number of people left and actually was out the door with with my new, temporary until the plastic copy comes in the mail in two to four weeks, license! I'm set for six more years!

 

You know, there are days like today a number of times per year for me and I would guess, for you. Amazingly, from my perspective, a great deal was accomplished in the orbit of one Stephen Wayne Hawley, as I'm officially known to the Great State Of Texas. There are times when I have so much going on that I just kind of wish the day/week/month would just hurry up and get over. When I wish that, what am I saying to the Lord about His design of time within the confines of my life? Ephesians 2:10 reminds me that God created works for me- and you- to do. It should be an honor for me and not a burden. I learned a lesson right before the holidays. I was in our apartment complex office, paying rent before I went out of town as I seem to recall. I was talking to one of the managers about plans for the wonderful time of year. There was a guy there who I know in a semi-passing way. He was asked what he had in mind to do. His response saddened me.
"I never go anywhere. I never do anything."
I know enough about his circumstances which he cannot change to surmise he is being brutally honest. Maybe he would love to swap places with me on those days I wish I had nothing to do because I can't get everything done. We make lives for ourselves and then we often complain about how we spend our seconds and minutes and hours and days. That's my weakness. I shouldn't have time to complain. But I should have time to rejoice that the Lord is entrusting me with good things each three hundred sixty five trips around the sun. Sometimes, I  just have to slow down to remember.

Applicable quote of  the day:
If ants are such busy workers, how come they find time to go to all the picnics? 
Marie Dressler

God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1