Thursday, September 21, 2017

The Falling Out

I rarely went to the doctor as a child as I have always been blessed with good health. The following is about my most memorable trip to the doctor's office when I was in elementary school. Every word is true! This ran in March of 2006.

When I was in fifth grade, my hair began falling out in clumps. My parents were at a loss and took me to a dermatologist in Lincoln to find out what was wrong. (There must not have been any dermatologists in my hometown of 6,000.) The doctor performed an examination and exiled me to the waiting room. He proceeded to castigate my folks for my condition. This is the conversation as recreated by my parents:
"What are you doing to that boy?"
Dumbfounded, my parents asked what he was talking about.
"That young man is terribly upset about something! Are you beating him?"

My parents denied the allegation.
"He must be maladjusted at school!"
Mom and Dad replied I made good grades, had plenty of friends, and participated in every sport available.
"What rules do you have for him that could be causing him this kind of anguish?"
The only rule they could think of was that I/we had to eat everything on our plates or we could not have dessert. They told him that I detested squash and liver.

"That's it. That's what is causing his hair to fall out!"
My parents were incredulous. It was so silly that it bordered on the absurd. But, to get him off their back (in my opinion), they agreed to drop the dessert addendum to our supper contract. Guess what? Immediately, my hair ceased its exodus and grew back in just like before.

I was blessed with terrific parents. For years, they traveled the country, putting on Marriage Encounter and Marriage Enrichment seminars. One point they consistently made was that they were imperfect in raising their children but did the best they could. Why did my hair fall out? I have no clue. Do I believe it had any connection with eating squash and liver? Absolutely not. I am sure it was purely coincidental. My parents felt the same way. But, they loved me enough to get to the bottom of the dilemma and were willing to go to expense and inconvenience to help their son. The Bible instructs parents to train their offspring and further warns fathers not to exasperate their children. (I am sure most of the exasperation came from my end!) Mom and Dad followed those guidelines to perfection even if their children were somewhat flawed. My folks knew more about raising kids than an unnamed dermatologist in Lincoln, Nebraska. But, I will never gripe about his cure for my scalp.

Applicable quote of the day:
"Sometimes, you like to let the hair do the talking!"
James Brown

God bless,
Luke 18:1
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Jon said...

that story is priceless.. HAHAHA

David Michael said...

It must have been very stressful for you not to have dessert. :)

Susan Jones said...

So that's what your parents meant when they referred to you as the "troubled child"...or maybe it was the "child who caused all the trouble"...

Family fun said...

too funny! i'm glad your parents were gracious enough to try removing the restriction! this doesn't surprise me at all about them though!

our solution to eating was developed while at the children's home; one set of sisters arrived having never eaten anything but hot dogs, hamburgers and corn. i had fixed squash for dinner one night and they refused to even try it. that might make some say "yuck" as well but i make my squash with brown sugar - nothing to say 'yuck' about! well, they kept refusing and saying 'yuck' which brought my 'yuck' rule. anyone who said yuck to anything would get an extra serving (min serving was a tablespoon). funny enough when it came to my own kids, they turned the table - they'd say 'yuck' intentionally to get an extra serving! :)

of course none of the kids at the children's home or ours ever lost their hair over having to get an extra serving! :)

Sherry Ann said...

hahaha! This is soooo funny! I love squash and liver but my hair is not that thick and healthy! how come? =)