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| Levitt Stadium, East Hill Park, York, Nebraska |
Our middle and high school is meeting virtually for several weeks now and the plan is to be back on campus, Lord willing, after Thanksgiving. The ironic thing is that in some ways, this has been a very enjoyable year for me. I love my students and players and have found the skill to do things tech-wise I could not have imagined last spring.... although I am definitely still learning. The situation we all face has left me with more time to think and wonder about my life. Today, as I walked the outfield of our beautiful WCS baseball field, I began thinking about my biggest regret in life which is not marrying and having kids. I ran through a mental checklist of exes and started asking myself, what if, which is always a rabbit hole to explore. What if she hadn't dumped me or what if I hadn't been a jerk to this young lady... and before long, I thought of girlfriends whose memory had long been dormant. This much I can say with certainty- my life would be drastically different if there was a Mrs. Hawley. Being single, while excruciatingly lonely at times, has given me the flexibility to do things in my educational/coaching careers. When you don't have to pass decisions through the lens of a spouse and offspring, choices are easier to make. Needless to say, it was me playing my own version of The Beatles', "In My Life" mentally as I walked through the freshly cut grass.
But as I thought, something came to mind that equally or maybe even more decisively caused another fork in my road to appear. Towards the end of my sophomore college baseball season, Coach Steve Small approached me about coaching in the American Legion baseball program that he had taken over in my hometown of York, Nebraska. I had four years as a player in the Legion system and even though coaching had not crossed my mind, I was intrigued and took the job. In fact, I kept it for three summers and it led to my first post college position, coaching and teaching in south Georgia. From there, as years elapsed, I made my way to Tennessee and now Houston. They say the rest is history but the story is still being told so I'd have to call it something else.
The funny thing as I reflect is that I have no recollection of Coach Small broaching the subject with me. I'm sure it did not seem that it was a life changing moment but it absolutely turned out to be. My plan up to that point had been to earn a Masters and then Doctorate in US History and settle into a life as a college professor. I can't truthfully say my goals changed immediately- it took a number of years to get past the Doctorate dream- but the die was cast. I fell in love with coaching baseball which turned into love of coaching basketball which of course, led to a dual track career that many of us have navigated. No one ever calls me Mister, They all call me Coach even if they have never played on one of my teams. It's a title I'm comfortable with.
Three days ago, there was a Facebook message for me from a former student. It was his birthday and I gave him a shoutout as I always do. He's now a teacher/coach and it was Veterans' Day so he took his students to the downtown square in the small Tennessee town to watch the patriotic celebration. When they returned to school, Jon recited In Flanders Fields to the kids who were amazed at his knowledge of poetry, a poem we covered each year in my history classes. This is what he wrote to me:
Up until last year, I didn’t know that you subconsciously put the blue print in my mind to be a good teacher. Here's the thing. I had no idea I had an impact on Jon. He is undoubtedly having an impact on the kids he teaches and coaches. If he is correct, then Coach Small plays a big role in that impact, even though he has never met Coach Small. I am no scientist and don't have any real knowledge of the Butterfly Effect, the theory that the smallest thing can greatly change future events in the natural world. There are surely similarities in the way we live our lives as both Jesus in Matthew 12 and the writer of Hebrews in 4:13 speak of giving account for our words/thoughts/actions. Our lives are not in a vacuum; interaction with others, believers and non believers, is the basis of discipleship. We have the free will to make decisions and then live with them. In some cases, others live with the consequences of our choices and vice versa. I can't know what life would have been like if I had married but I do know what life is like because Coach Small took a chance on an immature twenty year old. Ephesians 2:10 tells us we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do. In my case, I think the Lord used Coach Small as a subcontractor. That means I am someone else's subcontractor. In fact, all of us can be if we let Him use us in the Kingdom. Be careful how you make a difference.
Up until last year, I didn’t know that you subconsciously put the blue print in my mind to be a good teacher. Here's the thing. I had no idea I had an impact on Jon. He is undoubtedly having an impact on the kids he teaches and coaches. If he is correct, then Coach Small plays a big role in that impact, even though he has never met Coach Small. I am no scientist and don't have any real knowledge of the Butterfly Effect, the theory that the smallest thing can greatly change future events in the natural world. There are surely similarities in the way we live our lives as both Jesus in Matthew 12 and the writer of Hebrews in 4:13 speak of giving account for our words/thoughts/actions. Our lives are not in a vacuum; interaction with others, believers and non believers, is the basis of discipleship. We have the free will to make decisions and then live with them. In some cases, others live with the consequences of our choices and vice versa. I can't know what life would have been like if I had married but I do know what life is like because Coach Small took a chance on an immature twenty year old. Ephesians 2:10 tells us we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do. In my case, I think the Lord used Coach Small as a subcontractor. That means I am someone else's subcontractor. In fact, all of us can be if we let Him use us in the Kingdom. Be careful how you make a difference.
Applicable quote of the day:
To me, baseball has always been a reflection of life. Like life, it adjusts. It survives everything.
Willie Stargell
God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1
To me, baseball has always been a reflection of life. Like life, it adjusts. It survives everything.
Willie Stargell
God bless,
Steve
Luke 18:1
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