Good evening! For the next 6 days, I will be on a mission trip to Vietnam. During that time, I will have new blogs each night from guest authors! (Also, on many nights, I will post pictures from my trip here!) For the next 26 evenings, my spot will be filled by my dear sister in Christ, Trina Agee Cornell! Trina and I went through many mission trips together and I have been a guest in Trina's and her husband, Bob's home. Please keep me in your prayers!
Power of Positivity #12
I enjoy communicating with my family and friends through social media – especially Facebook. I follow a number of people and organizations that focus their efforts on spreading positivity to the masses. I love reading posts from Proverbs 31 Ministries, tobymac, Lysa TerKeurst (the founder of Proverbs 31 Ministries) – and Power of Positivity. I came across this organization through a friend of mine – I noticed that she shared posts from them on a regular basis, and I decided I would “like” the page and check it out for myself. Power of Positivity has spoken to me on a number of levels – the Lord allows just the right one to cross my path when it is most needed. I wanted to focus this series of blog posts on the posts that have resonated with me – and the lessons that I have learned from them.
“You have to learn to say NO without feeling guilty. Setting boundaries is healthy. You need to respect and take care of yourself.”
I am the mother of the cutest little toddler on the planet – he is almost two (going on five) and is fiercely independent. He wants to do everything on his own – and I mean, everything. From choosing his outfits to putting on his shoes to working puzzles – he is bound and determined to figure it out by himself. He has a pretty expansive vocabulary at this stage – but of course, one of his very favorite words is “NO”. He has started using this word when something is not going his way – when he needs help doing something, he starts to whine and moan, expecting us to come to the rescue. He is at the point where he can use his words – so we give him opportunities to do so. When he starts whining, we ask him, “What do you say?” He replies with “Heppease” (which, in toddler-ese, means, “Help, please”). He has learned that, when he says these words, Mama and Dada happily help him with his situation. If he finds contentment in whining, he learns quickly that no help is provided. He knows that saying “NO” only gets him so far.
Speaking for myself, I have had to learn to put this word back into my vocabulary on a regular basis. For a number of years, I have always been the agreeable first child – I would go along with whatever decision was made, because my family was much louder than me. I did not want to “rock the boat”, so I just went along with things. This worked for a while – but as I became an adult, I noticed that I had become a pushover. I said “yes” way more than I said “no”, and professionally, it put me in situations where I was in a state of overwhelm. I had too much on my plate – and I was spreading myself too thin. I always felt guilty if I said “no” to someone, as if I was letting them down in some way. Something had to give – something had to change.
In the last year, I have started to find my voice. I found that voice I had stuffed deep down inside, because it was drowned out by the noise of my life. I started standing up for myself – speaking up for myself and what I needed. You know what? People started listening. I said “yes” to those things that fostered my God-given talents and abilities – and I said “no” to those things that did not fit within my life. I started setting boundaries – clear-cut lines that I would not let anyone cross. I started taking care of myself emotionally – and invested in myself in positive ways.
I know the Lord put me on this earth for a purpose – and for the first time in my life, I am truly living out that purpose for Him. It is OK to say “NO” – and to not feel bad about it. Tap into your inner toddler – and let it fly!
Steve
Luke 18:1
E-mail me at shawley@westburychristian.org
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