Monday, January 19, 2015

Loss For Words

Dave and me, Brooklyn days
I don't know of a time I've ever known so many folks on a close level who are going through sorrow or sickness or a combination of the two. My brother, Dave, wrote this on July 9, 2007, filling in for me while I was on a mission to Honduras. Just 24 days after Dave posted this, our father had a stroke which would eventually take his life. His words seem appropriate to me tonight.

Of all the people in our family, I think of two who usually are NEVER at a loss for things to say- my Dad and me. Everyone else seems to have moments of good old fashioned silence. I can't speak for Dad, but I'm afraid that I view silence too often as missed opportunities to enlighten the world with my wisdom! Many of my early reports cards had some variation of the theme of 'Dave never lacks for things to say' or 'Dave loves the sound of his own voice'. Not only do I admit that to be true, but I'm pretty sure I'm usually ok with that!

All of this leads me to my problem today....I'm at a loss for words (oh, really, you think to yourself!). It's not that I can't think of anything to say, but instead, there is too much. I can never remember a year in my life that even closely resembles this one, and in most ways, that has been a distressing thing. If you read this blog on a regular basis, you know that our precious granddaughter of 10 months died 3 months ago...I'll never quite see life the same way again. Our mom continues to slide away from us to a disease that can only be described as hideous and emotionally painful to the ones observing it. One of my favorite tennis players I have coached died five days ago of liver and colon cancer at the age of 23. There is no way to say that is fair to her parents and friends. Our daughter Meagan is doing a great work in an orphanage...in Zambia, half a world away. The fact that we can't reach out and touch her at a moments' notice is frequently on my mind. We have had several major marital issues at our church which boggles my mind. All in all, this is not how I would have drawn up the year.

About a year ago, I taught a class at church about the origins of songs that we sing and what inspired them to be written. I was amazed at how many songs were penned at a time when believers are presented with challenges to their lives. I take comfort today in several of the lines I find in those songs:
*"God moves in a mysterious way, HIS wonders to perform...."
* "Nearer, still nearer, close to thy heart, draw me ,my saviour, how precious Thou art..."
*"Peace, perfect peace...in this dark world of sin..."

I guess what I MEANT to say was...I'm at a loss for THINGS to say...big difference from words to say!

My guess is that it would do me good, in these times of trials, to "Be still and know that Thou art God"....

God bless you all,

Dave (Steve's proud brother)

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