Thursday, April 16, 2009


One of the things I miss in the wake of the passing of my parents is the nightly phone call. For years, I would call my folks after supper every evening. We wouldn't talk long, ususally only fifteen minutes or so, but it was a constant. As Mom went downhill, Dad would still put her on the phone but she often would put the phone down and wander away. I miss their voices- I still have Dad's voice on the answering machine: "Hello! This is Roger Hawley. Leave me a message and we will get back to you. And have a blessed day!"
I can't bear to erase it. Below is a note from Terri Krause, a great friend of the folks, that came yesterday. It has good memories that many of you can relate to.
Hi Steve,
Just wanted to honor your parents' memory on this day with a few of my own memories of them. I know this must be an especially difficult day for your family in the wake of your mom's passing. I am quite emotional just in writing this. As you know, your mom had all the natural qualities of the quintessential Christian woman, and made it look effortless, which of course we know it couldn't be, if you've ever tried to be a Christian woman. It's not easy to be a selfless, loving, and tireless servant, filled with kindness and understanding, a quiet, gentle spirit all in one day! But she was those things ALL THE TIME!!!! I don't know why, but the most poignant memory I have of her, happened just a few years ago. She was already in the early mid stages of Alzheimer's (I hope you don't mind me sharing this). Jim and I were visiting, and we were all gathered on the sofas drinking tea, and your mom said, "We were there and we spent the WHOLE day with the children and we just LOVED every minute of it." I don't know exactly what the context to that statement was (I can guess, though), but it was just SO sweet and SO Nelda. . .
One of the many other memories I have of your folks dates back to 1998. Your dad had talked me into going on one of the Israel trips. (by the way, I am SO glad he did!!!- it was a high point in my life). There were probably 30-40 people on that tour. One afternoon, your folks invited me to join them for dinner that night, and sit at their table. I remember still the way their invitation made me feel: like I was back in school with hundreds of other kids, and the principal asked ME to have lunch! I felt soooo honored that they picked ME! Your folks had that wonderful gift of making people feel important, no matter what! I think if I had to pick only one quality of theirs that I could emulate and master, that would be it. I would love to be able to pay that one forward to everyone in my life, and make them feel the way I felt that day! Well I could go on and on, but my writing skills are sadly lacking. But I will say that your folks left a big hole in the world and in our hearts when they departed. I am so happy for them that they are together with the Lord, but sad for the ones left behind. Please know that my prayers are with all your family. Take care.
Applicable quote of the day:
"Your folks are like God because you want to know they're out there and you want them to approve of your life, still you only call them when you're in a crisis and need something."
Chuck Palahniuk

God bless,
Luke 18:1

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