Here is the final installment of the reworked Beatitudes, from Matthew chapter five, as penned by my students. Today's edition comes from the intellect of my second and seventh period sophomore classes. Feel free to leave any Beatitudes of your own as comments or e-mails!
"Blessed are the deaf for they can't hear hurtful words."
"Blessed are the homeless for they will find an eternal shelter in heaven."
"Blessed are the pacifists for God will use you as His soldier."
"Blessed are the single mothers for they will have someone who will never leave or forsake them."
"Blessed are those who cry for God will wipe away their tears."
"Blessed are the orphans for their family in God is always near."
"Blessed are those who are taken for granted for they are appreciated in the eyes of God."
"Blessed are the weak for they will be strong in their faith."
"Blessed are the poor for they will cherish what they have."
"Blessed are those who smell bad for Febreze will be spread throughout the kingdom of heaven."
"Blessed are the discriminated against for in heaven, all will be one."
"Blessed are the lost for God can always find them."
"Blessed are the thirsty for the Living Water will forever quench theirr thirst."
"Blessed are those who cannot have the one they love for the One who loves you (God) will always have you."
"Blessed are the sick for the stripes of Jesus will heal all suffering."
"Blessed are the hated for God will love them forever and ever."
"Blessed are those who lose for God will show them the meaning of life that is mixed with failure and victories."
"Blessed are the lost for God will be their tour guide."
"Blessed are the shy for there is nothing to fear in heaven."
E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org